thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
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and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
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Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Woke up backwards on a recliner
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.