I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.