dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
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There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
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I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So vagazzling was a success
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