ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
