Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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