I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
