you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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