You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
