I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
