Already got asked if we're dating
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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