So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
