stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
