Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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