That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
