Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
