yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
