ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
