I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize