my room smells like sperm. sweet.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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