First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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