but the lizard people decide everything anyway
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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