I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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