A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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