Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
