i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
soo... how was my night?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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