well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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