I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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