I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
