Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
