Sry I called you an 8
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize