i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
