I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
