There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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