The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
