May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
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What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
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it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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