I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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