If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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