my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Randomize
