eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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