My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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