idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
