Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
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shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
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I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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