I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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