in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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