Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
