Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
