You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
