it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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