i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
