i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
how do you play pong handcuffed?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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