Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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