Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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