I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize