so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
