You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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