Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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