A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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